The following article makes the reason for this very clear.
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I should not feel that way, you have trapped my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen. All I ask is that you listen. Not talk or do ~ just listen and hear me.
I can do for myself. I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling. And, when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand them.
So please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn, and I'll listen to you.
Author unknown
