The following poem was referred to today as I conducted the funeral service for a former resident of Inala Village, with whom we had associations through our chaplaincy ministry.
"You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."
I was reminded that the way people respond to grief is purely individual. Despite our sympathetic words or kind actions, we ultimately don't have any control over their emotions or responses. We can only control what happens to ourselves. So, I was challenged to consider what kind of legacy I am leaving behind. Is it an influential and positive one that inspires others?
It was the great evangelist, Billy Graham, who once stated: “Our days are numbered. One of the primary goals in our lives should be to prepare for our last day. The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives. What preparations should we be making now? The greatest waste in all of our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that God has given us each day.”
The legacy we leave behind is a combination of the individual choices we make and the character we allow God to cultivate within us. Let's make it the best it can possibly be!
